Why We Love P.J. O'Rourke, IX

"Aid-seekers in England would queue automatically by needs, disabled war vets and nursing mothers first.

Americans would bring lawn chairs and sleeping bags, camp out the night before, and sell their places to the highest bidders.

The Japanese would text-message one another, creating virtual formations, getting in line to get in line.

Germans would await commands from a local official, such as the undersupervisor of the town clock."

-- Peace Kills, IX